:)

BILL

Where's my agent???

Unless you’re part of the biz known as show, or faithfully follow the free screening experience, you may not be aware of the fact that 20th Century Fox, distributor for the new Alexandre Aja horror film Mirrors, is pulling the plug on all previews. While some markets were never getting a before-release showing (for press or otherwise), several with planned events have seen the studio renege on their promises and cancel them outright. Naturally, many chalk this up to (a) the movie being part of a typically marginalized and poorly reviewed genre, (b) the end of an already mediocre summer for the studio, and/or (c) that the movie really, really sucks. Still, with 24 guy Kiefer Sutherland in the lead and the man behind the semi-successful Hills Have Eyes remake at the helm (both FOX products), one would assume some contractual obligation on the part of the parent company. Apparently, this mirror is about to reflect badly on all involved.

I wasn’t too shocked when Harry Knowles over at AICN had an early review up of the latest Star Bores Wars saga, the animated Clone Wars. I was surprised to see him literally eviscerate the film (he loved the prequels, if I remember correctly). His take was soon followed by another outright pan from a frequently contributor. It looked like the Lucas love affair was about to end when…under pressure from the big baby man himself, both reviews have been removed from the site. The reason? Breaking embargo. Of course, Ain’t It Cool News is notorious for having reviews of titles sometimes months before their release. Several positive takes on Pineapple Express and Tropic Thunder have been available for a while. Guess if you piss off the Dark Lord, you have to pay, no matter how geeky you’ve been to him in the past.

Get ready all you pro-PC apologists. The latest abomination creation by George Lucas, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, is coming to a big screen near you next Friday (8/15), and in one of the more shocking moments in an otherwise decent kid vid diversion, we are introduced to Ziro the Hutt. That’s right, Jabba’s incredibly fey, Truman Capote sounding Uncle. I kid you not. I wish I could find a picture of this pierced, elaborately tattooed (and fashion conscious) slug (update - feast your eyes on the Wiki-proclaimed ‘hermaphrodite’), but I can guarantee you that once you hear his high pitched, savagely stereotypical drawl, you’ll wonder if Tennessee Williams has risen from the grave and gone sci-fi. Among the braindead robots, midriff baring sexy lady Sith, and little baby Rotta the Huttlett, this mincing monster is unbelievable.

PS - Luckily, there’s nary a Jar-Jar Binks in sight.

PPS - The battle droids get all the “ain’t we dumb” jokes. *Sigh*

"That's RIGHT pal. The fur is gonna FLY!!!"

The biggest surprise in the newest Mummy movie, aside from how lame it is, comes during the overlong narrative’s midway point. During yet another action setpiece altercation set in a mountain temple, those irrascible O’Connells appear down for the count. Jet Li and his minions are just blowing everything up. Luckily, our heroes’ pretty Asian guide knows Abomidable Snowman-ese. A few seconds later, and a group of bitmap Bigfoots show up to kick some bad guy booty. Then they stick around to illustrate avalanche survival strategies. Yeah Eastern Sasquatch! (More in my review coming this week).

Seems that Comic-Con has just begun, and already big news has arrived about a long delayed project…and this was before anyone actually hit the convention floor. On a train ride from LA to San Diego (on an express pimping the Bill Murray movie City of Ember) Gary Goetzman, head of the Playtone Company and producer on Spike Jonze’s adapation of childhood fave Where the Wild Things Are, was confronted about the status of the film by several online and print journalists. His comments were encouraging, if not a little ambiguous. Denying all the rumors of “disastrous” test screenings, “traumatized children and angry parents”, and a terrible performance by newcomer Max Records, he point out that Jonze still has final cut, the studio supports him 100%, and the film will indeed be released. However, he also confirmed that the director’s decision to go ‘low tech’ with special effects (read: animatronic monsters) has more or less been nixed, in favor of a realiance on CGI. Talk about taking the good news with the bad.

Apparently, Robert Downey Jr. has agreed to sign on as the famed detective Sherlock Holmes in the Guy Ritchie reimagining of the famed fictional character from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Not to be confused with the proposed Judd Apatow guided comedy pairing Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell as the Master of Deduction and his medico sidekick respectively, this update starts filming in October. No word yet on who will be Tony Stark’s Watson. And here’s a bigger question - how will Ritchie’s self-referential style support such a well-known literary figure? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.